From The Irish Times, Frank McNally's.....(drumroll):
A HISTORY of Ireland in 100 Excuses.
1. Original sin.
2. The weather.
3. The 800 years of oppression.
4. A shortage of natural resources.
5. The spirit is willing, but the flesh is weak
6. Red hair.
7. The Celtic temperament.
8. He stole Trevelyan's corn/So the young might see the morn.
9. It was taught badly in schools.
10. The Modh Coinníollach.
11. Peig.
12. The questions didn't suit you.
13. No-one shouted stop.
14. Johnny made me do it.
15. Oh no! 'Twas the truth in her eyes ever dawning/That made me love Mary the Rose of Tralee.
16. That fella has a bad drop in him.
17. Her father didn't like me anyway.
18. I have to see a man about a dog.
19. Don't mind me - I haven't been myself lately.
20. And then he lost the head altogether.
21. Lehman Brothers.
22. The Christian Brothers.
23. Biddy Early.
24. Benchmarking.
25. We only did it for the crack.
26. April Fool's Day.
27. Halloween.
28. Stag parties.
29. The stony grey soil of Monaghan.
30. The rocks of Bawn.
31. The hungry grass.
32. The pipes (the pipes) were calling.
33. And that's the cruel reason why I left old Skibbereen.
34. Come all ye young rebels, and list while I sing/For the love of one's country is a terrible thing/It banishes fear with the speed of a flame/And it makes us all part of the patriot game.
35. He must have got it from his father's side - it couldn't have been from us.
43 - 48. See 42, excuses relating to drunken nights two to seven, inclusive.
49. I can resist anything except temptation.
50. The Old Lady Says 'No!'
For the second fifty, and some hilarious reader additions, here's the link.
A HISTORY of Ireland in 100 Excuses.
1. Original sin.
2. The weather.
3. The 800 years of oppression.
4. A shortage of natural resources.
5. The spirit is willing, but the flesh is weak
6. Red hair.
7. The Celtic temperament.
8. He stole Trevelyan's corn/So the young might see the morn.
9. It was taught badly in schools.
10. The Modh Coinníollach.
11. Peig.
12. The questions didn't suit you.
13. No-one shouted stop.
14. Johnny made me do it.
15. Oh no! 'Twas the truth in her eyes ever dawning/That made me love Mary the Rose of Tralee.
16. That fella has a bad drop in him.
17. Her father didn't like me anyway.
18. I have to see a man about a dog.
19. Don't mind me - I haven't been myself lately.
20. And then he lost the head altogether.
21. Lehman Brothers.
22. The Christian Brothers.
23. Biddy Early.
24. Benchmarking.
25. We only did it for the crack.
26. April Fool's Day.
27. Halloween.
28. Stag parties.
29. The stony grey soil of Monaghan.
30. The rocks of Bawn.
31. The hungry grass.
32. The pipes (the pipes) were calling.
33. And that's the cruel reason why I left old Skibbereen.
34. Come all ye young rebels, and list while I sing/For the love of one's country is a terrible thing/It banishes fear with the speed of a flame/And it makes us all part of the patriot game.
35. He must have got it from his father's side - it couldn't have been from us.
43 - 48. See 42, excuses relating to drunken nights two to seven, inclusive.
49. I can resist anything except temptation.
50. The Old Lady Says 'No!'
For the second fifty, and some hilarious reader additions, here's the link.
That is pretty funny! Glad you are blogging again.
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